


Can You Hear Me?

by CharrAnn



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Death, Gen, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Past Tense, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 04:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3882388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharrAnn/pseuds/CharrAnn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles from teenage Mikey Way's point of view after a terrible tragedy that resulted in the loss of hearing and the making of an only child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Prologue"

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time making drabbles, so....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wish you were here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first drabble, so...

Have you ever experienced something so amazing, yet so terrible, that you just breakdown and want to die on the inside?  Yes?  No?  Possibly?  Who cares?  I do...but not really.  It’s been proven many a time in both history and my own life that man does not care about anything other than his own self.  Man is full of selfish decisions.

It’s been a year since I last saw you.  I still can’t get the image out of this thickly protected mind that I dare call my own.  Your funeral was nice.  Aparently they played your favorite song… I wouldn’t know…

Your body was hurt so bad that they held a closed casket funeral for you, and then you were cremated.  You were the first person in this family to do either of those things.  Over 75% of your body was practically destroyed.  Most of your face was okay, though.  You’d be happy to know that.  A large portion of your chest and back were okay as well.  Not enough for you to survive, though.  I still blame myself for what happened.  The explosion, itself, wasn’t my fault, but you dying was.  To be honest, the only reason I haven’t killed myself yet is because you died trying to save me.

Yours was the last voice I heard.  You were screaming my name just before the second explosion, the one that killed you, went off.  At first, it was so loud; then it went real quiet.  I thought that, maybe, the explosion stopped; that we would be okay… I was wrong.  The explosion wasn’t what had stopped…

I don’t know if you knew, but I got you out of there.  I knew you were unconscious, but you were also still alive.  I thought that maybe,  maybe , you’d make it… I still don’t know how I managed to carry you out of there.  I kept repeating your name, as if you’d fuckin’ wake up!  I couldn’t even hear myself.

Mom was horrified, to say the least.  It was terrible to watch her.  When we first walked out of the rubble, we almost looked okay...almost.  She thought we were fine...until she noticed you.  It’s shameful to admit, but if I wasn’t there and saw the explosion, I wouldn’t have recognized you.

It was when the paramedics came to take you and started asking me questions that I realized something.  I couldn’t hear.  Part of me was, and still is, glad about that.  I’m sure that whole experience would have been a hell of a lot worse if I was able to hear everything.  As it turns out, there was a third explosion.

You made it to the hospital.  The place was jam-packed.  I’d never seen so many poor souls close to death at the same time.  I forced myself to think that you were different than them, because you were.  You were my older brother, my best friend in the world.  To you, I could compare no one.

It was because of you, thank you by the way, that I realized God has a fuckin’ amazing sense of humor.  He kept you alive for two days after you were injured.  At one point, you woke up and were even talking.  It was then  you  realized that I was now deaf.  I couldn’t even hear your last words.  I remember you crying in the hospital bed, trying to hug me.  You weren’t able to move because of the burns.

I was with you when you died.  Both you and I knew it was coming, but I don’t think the doctors suspected it.  You mouthed ‘it’ll be okay,’ even though we both fuckin’ knew it wouldn’t.  I wish I could have heard the piercing screech of the heart monitor coming to a stop, but I’ve come to move past that.  I don’t know if you died similar to how you lived, thinking that no one would even try to save you; but believe me, they tried for over an hour, even though the usual call time is twenty minutes.  You really were wanted…

I can’t believe it’s been over a year.  You’d be turning seventeen in a few weeks.  I still celebrate your birthday.  Last year, I hung out in your room.  Mom doesn’t go in there.  You’d be happy that none of your stuff has been changed.  After I hung out in your room, I walked around Belleville and went to all of the comic shops that you loved.  I even found an issue of the underground comic book that you wrote under the name ‘Gary.’  I walked to  that  building.  The have a memorial for all the poor souls lost in the explosion.  Your name has its own pedestal.  When I went home, Mom set up the dinner table, and Dad actually sat with us.  We brought out the urn we keep “you” in and put it in the main seat at the head of the table.  We also made your favorite meal.

**  
I wish you were here.   
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, it gets sadder.


	2. "Music"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm deaf...and you're dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long.

           If there was a single thing I wish I could hear (besides your voice, of course) it would be music.  You used to sing around the house all the time.  Hell, I remember some nights where I was having a nightmare or some shit, you'd go to my room, crawl into bed with me, and sing me to sleep.  Your voice was always so gorgeous.  Sometimes when I dream I can hear you.  Yours is the only voice I still remember.  Even mom and dad's have faded away.

            I sleep with your blanket.  I straight up stole it off of your bed.  Sometimes it doesn't help, so I just sleep on your bed.  God, I was never this messed up, Gee.  I mean, I've _always_ had problems.  We both did.  But this...  I could never blame you for something that wasn't your fault.

            Sometimes, even when I'm awake, I think I hear you, but then I remember.

**I'm deaf...and you're dead.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops.


	3. "Sight"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How long can I even last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry about how long this took.

Thanks to you, I'm going crazy. It was _strange_. I thought... I don't know what I thought, but I saw you. Only, you were different. It was like you were glowing.

It pains me to admit it, but you looked _happy_. You were never happy... Your skin was a normal color; not the sickly pale that you always were and not the blistered red you died with. Your hair was black, which was normal for you. When you died, it was all gone... You would have _hated_ it if you had actually survived.

When I saw you, you saw me. You smiled and mouthed the words 'hey, buddy.' I signed to you. I signed 'what's going on?!' But you just looked at me confused. Then you just disappeared.

I wasn't sure if it was a dream. It just felt so weird. It felt _real_. I'm not sure, but either way I woke up in my bed, crying.

**_How long can I even last?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, it gets even sadder.


End file.
